Whether your online messages to dating prospects go unanswered, you have a great first date but never hear from the person again, or you get dumped after things were just starting to heat up, all rejections have one thing in common — they really hurt.What makes rejection even more painful is that any effort to understand what went wrong can easily lead to bouts of self-criticism and self-blaming.Did they reject you because you’re not tall enough, smart enough, attractive enough, rich enough, educated enough, or hip enough? Then you start to second guess everything you did and said.You berate yourself for disclosing your fascination with sea urchins, for ordering noodle soup and making slurping noises, or for joking about how you got the scar on your middle finger.
That’s why rejections hurt as much as they do, not because there’s anything wrong with you — because you’re simply wired that way.
Not everyone you lose is a loss, and it’s not the end of the universe.
Like conducting a job search, online dating is an exercise in patience, compatibility, and, sometimes, rejection.
You can be dumped by a private e-mail, via text, through technologically public means such as Facebook, by way of the old fashioned telephone, via the ancient and dreaded face-to-face method, or as Dr.
Seuss once said: “in a box with a fox.” Some old-school dumpers have nerve enough to tell you that it’s over; others simply disappear like a Copperfield trick: One day you’ve got something, the next you don’t.